Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
