I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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