New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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