In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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