Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
