My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm having to shit out rocks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
