yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
