Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
