Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
