shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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