just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Randomize
