Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
