you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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