I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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