Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
