the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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