smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
