Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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