she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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