I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
