Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
