Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
