everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Drunk is not a location!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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