My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
