she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
