did you get engaged???
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
