So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
