so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
