if only i could text you this smell
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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