So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
