I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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