I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
