there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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