I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
