My nipple is on Facebook.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
