i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's never too late to be topless.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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