I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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