He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
