I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
