Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
