He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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