she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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