spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
