I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
