wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
