am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
