so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
