walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
