Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
