Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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